Matter of Time
by kittikat8531
Summary: A mysterious girl in the park with odd things to say, but it becomes so much more. UsagixMamoru, darkish AU. Complete. Please R&R.
1. First Meeting

AN: This is probably a bit weird and with a fair amount of fluff, but I was bored. I'm sorry I still haven't done the sequel for Time Travel Trouble or the next chapter of Reunions and Reactions, though I'm working on both. Really, this was just scratching a creative itch.

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Mamoru knew he could be a bit of a prick at times. Who wouldn't, when they had no memories before their eighth birthday except dreams of a mysterious girl? He didn't make friends easily or do much of anything except study. Motoki tried constantly, but it was never enough- he just kept to himself.

He lived alone in a nice apartment, courtesy of the trust fund his parents had left him, with a car and a motorcycle. He worked when he had the free time so he didn't have to depend completely on the fund. He went to school- high school, at the moment. He was seventeen years old and didn't really have much of a life.

One night, the poor man was overly frustrated by the content of his physics book that he just couldn't concentrate on that evening. Grabbing his green blazer, he headed out for some air.

Instinct drove him to the rose gardens in the park, an area that felt most comforting to him. The full moon was high overhead and everything had taken on a silvery glow. He might have stepped into another world. It was absolutely amazing.

"What brings you here tonight?"

He spun around, looking for the source of the voice. It was female, and young, but no one seemed to be around. A soft laugh came to his ears.

"I'm up here, silly."

He glanced in that direction and spotted a girl in a tree. She looked about the same age as him, though she could have been younger. Her long blonde hair was held in a pair of buns with pigtails hanging from them. She was barefoot, though it was a little chilly, and only wearing a flowing white dress, perhaps a sundress. Her big blue eyes watched him with a hint of amusement.

"Who are you?"

"At the moment or in general?" she asked lazily, leaning back. "I've had many names and titles. What is your name in this time?"

"Chiba… Mamoru, I think."

"You think?"

"I don't know for sure. The doctors say that's my name, but I can't remember anything before I was eight years old."

Why was he telling a perfect stranger things that he would barely discuss with Motoki, whom he'd known for years?!

She nodded. "Mamoru, hm? It suits you, protector of the Earth."

"I'm no protector."

"Aren't you? In many lives and many times, you are. Maybe not yet here, but someday."

He stared at her. "Who are you? Do you know me?"

"In a way, yes. No, I've never met you before tonight in this life, but in any other we cross paths again and again. I imagine our paths will cross once more soon."

"You didn't answer my first question."

"Didn't I?" she asked with a faint smile. "How rude of me. For the moment, you can call me Usagi. It's the name that I carry in this time."

"Usagi… You look very familiar."

"I should hope so. Like I said, we've met before. With time, you will know who I am. Find the Ginzuishou, Chiba Mamoru, if you want your answers."

"Ginzuishou?!" he repeated. "You know what that is?"

"Of course. It's mine, after all. I need it if I'm going to be here more frequently. This part of me, the part that knows you and the Ginzuishou, only appears fully under the light of the full moon, and only briefly. I can't sustain it without it."

"You're the girl in my dreams. The Princess."

"Perhaps. I _was_ a Princess, once. Now? A memory in a young girl's mind, barely able to surface. I doubt you'll recognize us when we meet again. She may know you, since she has my memories."

"No, don't go!"

"You _will_ see me again, Chiba Mamoru… Prince Endymion. It's just a matter of time."

The girl vanished, as if she had never been, just as the moon sank below the treetops.

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"I'm telling you, Motoki-kun, this girl was something completely different! I mean, she was gorgeous, and mysterious, and enchanting!"

Motoki shook his head. "I didn't say I didn't believe you, Mamoru-kun. But seriously, you could've just dreamed it."

Mamoru set his jaw stubbornly. "I know it was real. She said I'd see her again someday."

"Mamoru, I never thought I'd see the day."

"Eh?" The dark haired teen stared at his friend in bewilderment.

"You're in love, buddy. This mystery girl of yours has you hooked, and you talked to her what, five minutes? Less? I would never have thought you would lose your head over a girl that quickly." Motoki grinned.

"I don't- she's not- Motoki!"

The blond held up his hands defensively. "Don't kill the messenger! _You_ fell in love with her all on your own, my friend."

Mamoru scowled at his companion darkly and tossed some money for his coffee on the counter, stalking out of the Crown Arcade. Instinct drove him to the park once more.

A girl was there again, but he didn't know if they were the same. The hair was in the same style, but this girl looked younger and wore a uniform for Juuban Middle School. She was sprawled on the grass too instead of perched in a tree.

"I was wondering if you would come back."

"Eh?"

"After last night, I didn't know if you would."

"You're… her?"

"Surprised?"

"No. A little shocked to see you so soon, but not that you're her."

"It was only a matter of time before we crossed paths. I come here sometimes because it's quiet. It's safe."

"Safe from what?"

"The world, life… probably other things, later on."

"Your name is Usagi, right?"

"Tsukino Usagi, at your service," she said with a mock salute. "You're Chiba Mamoru, I know."

He sat down next to her. "What other things?"

"I don't know what you mean."

"You said other things, later on. Like what?"

"Ah, that. Well, you know I want the Ginzuishou. Unless I have stupendous luck, I'm not going to be the only one. I'll need you to help me if that's the case."

"I couldn't help you."

"Protector, of course you can. Endless timelines have seen you save me, again and again and again. It's only a matter of time."

"You say that a lot."

"I don't lose my memories of different lives like most do. I know that these things are a matter of time. Only one in fifty lives see me gaining the Ginzuishou uncontested. One in a hundred where I don't need you to protect me. In my experience, it truly is only a matter of time."

"You're very cynical for one so young."

"And you're not? Besides, I'm not that young. Not mentally, at least. At the moment I'm probably hundreds of thousands of years old. Most likely more. My physical form doesn't make any difference when one sees as much as I do."

"How could I help you if that's the case?"

"You'll remember. It's only a matter of time."

She ran off as he wondered if this had all been a dream like Motoki said, or if he had been visited by an angel without wings.

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AN: I said there was fluff. In case you didn't get it, it's an AU where Mamoru runs across Serenity in the park, and the next day he sees Usagi in the same place. She makes some comments about what will happen and takes off. I'd appreciate any comments or really reviews in general. Till next time!


	2. Soon a Senshi

AN: Surprise. I know I haven't added anything to this story for some time, since it was intended to be a one-shot, but I've changed my mind. Instead, this will be something like a snapshot of important points in the Sailor Moon story. I'm not sure how many, or if they'll be in order, but essentially they should be able to stand alone. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon, just the ideas.

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He saw her from a distance on occasion, but they didn't get a chance to talk for a few weeks. He continued to go by the park at night, but even during the full moon she wasn't there.

After nearly two month of no contact, he made his way to the park according to habit, and she was finally there. Usagi was sitting in a tree as the Princess had the night they met, staring hatefully at some object in her hand.

"Usagi?" Her gaze shot to him and her position suddenly became less stable. Even as she fell, he dashed under and caught her neatly. "Hey, are you okay?"

She nodded slowly before tucking whatever she had been holding into a pocket. "I'm fine. Thank you for catching me, but I should be going."

"What? Wait!" He couldn't resist grabbing her arm. "Please, don't go. I've been watching for you for weeks. Can't we talk?"

The blonde sighed, brushing a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "You have questions."

"A few," he admitted. "I was starting to think you were a dream."

Usagi shook her head. "I'm pretty sure I'm real. Then again, I'm sure any dream figure would say that, wouldn't they? Ask your questions; it's only a matter of time until you blurt them out anyway."

"Who are you really?"

She sat on the grass before tilting her head in his direction. "Do you really want to know, or are you just asking in general?"

"I want to know," he replied, sitting next to her.

She stared into the distance, and for a moment he thought she wouldn't answer. "At the moment, I am what you see. I'm a clumsy fourteen year old girl that goes to Juuban Middle School. In my last life, or really every other life I lead, I've been the Princess of the Moon, Serenity. Serenity is the one that wants the Ginzuishou from you, the one that's sent you dreams as long as you can remember."

He shot her a surprised look. "I never mentioned dreams to you."

"You mentioned it with Serenity, though you never said much about it. However, I already knew. It's the same in every life we have on Earth. In many of my lives as Usagi, I also save the world as the heroine Sailor Moon. She's the reason I'm here tonight, and why I'm talking to you instead of leaving."

"I don't understand," Mamoru murmured, watching her.

"It's not time for you to know yet," she frowned, "but I'm too tired to keep it from you. The time has come for Sailor Moon in this life, but I don't want to. I'm tired of all the fighting, the death, the endless suffering. I know Sailor Moon is part of who I am, but I don't want it."

"Who is Sailor Moon? A super hero?"

"It would be easier to show you, but that wouldn't work. She'll be in the news soon enough regardless. Sailor Moon is a Sailor Senshi, female warriors representing planets and other celestial bodies with matching super powers. In Serenity's time, Sailor Venus leads the Senshi, but here I'm the leader. You'll understand soon enough. The first battle can't be more than a day or so away. Possibly even tonight."

"I don't want you to get hurt," he muttered, but she heard.

"I called you protector when we met, didn't I? You'll protect me, as you always have. It may take time for you to realize though. We'll have to see. It's only a-"

"Matter of time, I know. I'm starting to get heartily sick of that phrase."

"I can relate," she said drily. "…I want to be done. I want to rest, finally, not to be caught in endless loops. Serenity, Usagi, Serenity, Usagi, over and over, with universes ending and being reborn, us along with it."

"Why are we reborn so many times?"

"My heart tells me there is something done wrong in my lives, something that stops a future that was supposed to occur. Instinct says that I've been close a time or two, but I always fail, and this begins again." She sighed and laid back against the soft grass. "It must be something I've done that causes the relapse, or I wouldn't be the only one with my memories. There have even been lives where my Senshi never appeared- I always died so early in those, because the two of us aren't enough to survive the battles. I begin to wonder if I'll ever succeed."

"And if you do? If someday, you manage it? What then?"

She shrugged helplessly. "I don't know. I hope, I pray that I can finally stop once that happens. I want to finally die, for real. I want to remember mortality. I don't want to ever live this again."

"You want to die?!"

She chuckled softly. "I'm not suicidal, if you're worried. I meant that when the time comes for me to go, it'll be the last time and I won't wake up again in a new life. I want to rest. My soul is tired. I have more power than most people could ever imagine, but I can't have what I want. You're lucky. You don't remember. You don't have the burden of knowing."

"You shouldn't carry any burdens alone," he said quietly. "There must be others."

"The only one that I can share with any time is Sailor Pluto, but she's not really human. She doesn't understand."

"Not human?"

"Then again," she mused, "I can't really be sure I am either. She's not really mortal. She exists outside of time. She doesn't die, except under very difficult circumstances. She's the only one of us that doesn't have a normal life, ever. I feel bad for her."

"From what you say," Mamoru observed, "you've suffered a lot. How can you still feel compassion for others?"

"Pluto is trapped even more than I am," Usagi explained. "She has no way to free herself. She'll watch for eternity as everyone else lives and dies. She loves me, and she loves our sisters, but she's watched us die so many times and could do nothing to stop it. In a way, I'm a comfort to her. I'm still here. She's not alone."

They laid back again, thinking.

"Sailor Moon, huh? Do you have a cool superhero speech or pose?"

"Both," she said in disgust, "but they're not at all cool. The speeches are ridiculously cheesy and the pose is lame."

"Well, maybe that's what you have to fix!"

She laughed for a long time before settling back. "Thank you."

"For what?"

Usagi turned and smiled. "You make me feel like there's still hope. You always do, but I'm still grateful. Thank you so much. I think I can manage more easily now."

And she was gone, as if she had flown away when he blinked. He sighed, shaking his head as he walked slowly to Motoki's apartment. He wouldn't say anything about Sailor Moon, he decided. He could just tell his friend about the strange angel, an angel he thought had been sent to save him.

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AN: Sooo… Love it? Hate it? Think I should do more? Review! Whatever you have to say, say it! Till next time!


	3. Protector My Love

AN: So for those of you that actually bother coming back, I'm sorry this isn't a story that has any degree of consistency in updates. This is just a piece I work on when the mood strikes. My other Sailor Moon story takes more attention. Still, I'm glad you cared enough to take a look. Also, there really isn't too much of a plot in this. It's just talks they have at important points of the storyline.

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon, just this twisted no-plot chatting story.

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He looked for her the instant he had a Nijizuishou, the moment he knew he was Tuxedo Kamen, Sailor Moon's protector. He had to. And she was there, lying facedown in the grass.

"A matter of time," she murmured as he approached. "Always, a matter of time. I knew you would come."

"Are you all right?" he demanded anxiously. "You're not hurt?"

Usagi shook her head as she sat up, smiling faintly. "I'm fine. You saved me in time."

Mamoru rocked back on his heels in shock. "You knew?"

"Of course. I called you protector when we first met."

He paused, unsure. "Serenity?"

"No," she answered. "Serenity is still too weak to speak for herself. She grows stronger as the Nijizuishou appear, but right now she still needs the moon. Sometimes, since I generally speak for both of us, I'll refer to myself doing what she did. In the end, it's still true. You're our protector. You've always been our protector. How are you? I hope your blackouts didn't hurt you too badly."

"You knew about my blackouts? Of course you knew about my blackouts," he answered himself. "You already know all of this, don't you?"

"It seems that so far this life is proceeding normally. The blackouts are common for you, unfortunately. They should end now that you know who you are."

"But do I?" he asked. "Do I really know who I am?"

Her lips twitched. "I suppose I must say it again. It's a matter of time. When that time comes, the truth will be revealed."

"Sometimes I wonder if you enjoy being cryptic," he said grouchily as he sat down at her side.

"It's not intentional," she laughed. "Really. I would tell you, but I don't like to burden others with my trouble."

He studied the Nijizuishou he had just plucked from his pocket. "These things cause so much trouble for being so small."

She glanced at it briefly. "So small, yet so huge. The seven together contain one of the greatest powers of the universe."

He took one last hard look at it, then offered it to her. "I know you need them."

Usagi shook her head with a smile and pushed it back toward him. "Keep it. It doesn't matter who holds the fragments. They will come to me in the end, because they are mine. Besides, the Dark Kingdom thinks that Tuxedo Kamen-sama works against the Senshi. They are safer if I don't keep any we find. Besides, how would I explain it to the others?"

Mamoru shrugged. "You've asked for the Ginzuishou. I want to find it for you."

"When the time comes, it will appear. The fragments mean nothing. I only fight for them to spare their carriers. They did nothing to deserve this. If I wanted, I could gather each Nijizuishou to me with only a thought, sparing them. However, the Dark Kingdom would still attack, and they would be hurt for nothing. In the end, the Nijizuishou do no good without the trigger that will bring them together."

"What trigger?"

Her eyes drifted closed. "I can't say. I wouldn't even if I could, because I always hope it doesn't happen. I'm trying very hard to avoid that."

Mamoru hesitated, but wrapped her into a hug. "I worry about you so much. How can someone so kind deserve this war?"

"I don't know," she answered after a long pause. "I wondered, before. I've even considered begging the Ginzuishou to spare me, but in the end, I wouldn't. I don't like being a warrior, but I would never abandon those that matter to me because I wasn't willing to stand and fight."

"I'll know what's going on eventually, won't I?"

"Of course. It's only a…"

"Matter of time. I know, I know."

"You seem as disgusted with it as I am," Usagi observed.

"It gets wearing," he admitted.

She shrugged delicately. "Do you have any questions regarding what's happened? I'll answer what I can."

"Are you really that klutzy?"

Usagi laughed despite herself. "Pretty much. I get better sometimes but it seems to be something I can't escape, and it's always at its worst when it's most inconvenient. I've tripped in front of youma more time than I can count."

"And then I swoop in and save you?" There was a touch of a merry twinkle in his eye.

"Generally, yeah. Sometimes if you're not there it's one of my Senshi. I love them; they're the best friends ever."

That one stung a little. "Then what am I?"

She glanced at him curiously. "What do you mean?"

"If they're your best friends, where do I come in?" Jealousy ate at him though he tried to ignore it.

Her mouth formed a perfect 'O' in understanding. "Do you think I don't like you or something?"

"No." Yes.

"Mamoru…"

He growled and ran one hand over his hair. "Am I just your protector? Is that it? That and the guy you talk to now and again to vent?"

"You have never been 'just' anything. Yes, you're my protector. You're the guy I'll talk to about anything. You know more about me than anyone else, including my family or my Senshi." Her bright eyes locked with his. "I love you. I've always loved you. I will always love you. Is that what you needed to know?"

A wave of emotion crashed into him, and he hardly knew what to think. Finally words formed in his throat. "Do you love me for me, or just because I'm the reincarnation of some guy you loved?" Wrong words.

Fire blazed in her expression as she jumped away. "How can you say that? I fall in love with you in every life, yes, but not because of the past. I love you for _you_. Maybe someday you'll understand that."

She sprinted away, but he saw a glimmer of tears like tiny diamonds against her cheeks. He also wondered if she was going to run away every time they talked.

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AN: Thanks for reading. This is really just an experiment of mine, but I'm glad people like it. As with anything else I post, I must add that I love hearing what readers have to say, regardless of what it is. Questions, comments, concerns, suggestions, you name it. Till next time!


	4. Crying In Her Arms

AN: Again, to those reading this, I do not expect this to be a regularly updated story. It's just something I do from time to time as the mood strikes. This chapter is pretty short, but I thought it was interesting.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

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She went to the garden, but he wasn't there. Of course he wasn't there. He would never be there after this. He was gone, taken by the enemy just as he had been so many times before. Usagi wondered why this still hurt so badly. It did. It would never stop hurting to see him hurt in battle. It would never stop hurting to see him taken by the Dark Kingdom's evil plots.

The moonlight offered scant comfort. Serenity stirred inside her and a second girl began to form at her side, spinning and spinning until her silver-haired twin had fully appeared. She reached out and grasped Usagi's arm to steady herself.

"He's gone," Usagi said in a melancholy tone as she seated herself at the base of a tree. "Again."

Serenity joined her. "You'll see him again."

A faint chuckle escaped her, but it was devoid of humor. "The next time I see him, he'll be my enemy. How will that help?"

"Better dead than turned," the Princess said darkly. Usagi wholeheartedly agreed. "Still, you'll save him."

"You handle this so much better than I do."

Serenity shrugged. "In my lives he doesn't turn. This is your cross to bear, just as killing myself over his body is mine."

"This can't go on," Usagi said, completely exhausted. "The battles, the lives… I can't do this much longer."

"Neither can I," her self-proclaimed older and wiser self admitted. "Always knowing that the end will come, being forced to watch as the world falls to ruins. I'm so tired."

"Every day the Senshi attempt to assure me that Mamoru will be all right. Do you know what I've realized? I only addressed him by name twice. We've only talked as ourselves three times. Do you know why I didn't use his name?"

Serenity shook her head. "I never had a hard time using it."

"I couldn't," Usagi admitted. "I was afraid that if I did I would call him Mamo-chan and he would decide that I was crazy. I loved him again so quickly, but I didn't want to scare him away by being some infatuated schoolgirl."

"This isn't the end," Serenity assured her. "He knows you love him, just as I love Endymion. These things will never end."

"Do you ever worry that he loves you because of the past? That he loves you because he's supposed to instead of because that's really what he wants?"

"Past lives do not intrude into my relationship as much. You, unfortunately, are the one that suffers that burden. However I do not believe that he would love you for the past. He cared for you instantly. He sits and talks with you, listening and easing your fears and worries."

"And then he asked me what he was to me and wondered if I only cared about him for the past," Usagi whispered.

Serenity's compassion shone in her eyes. "Oh, Usagi… he was just unsure of where he stood. He does not have memories to lean on, or to understand."

"I already love him so much…"

"Then do not give in. You must trust in your love. You will free him as you always do."

"And I'll die fighting Beryl, like I always do," she said bitterly.

"And you'll be brought back, as you always are. Do not lose hope."

"There have been lives where I failed. Hope seems to be growing thin for me."

A voice seemed to whisper her name on the wind. Her fists clenched as she fought the urge to weep, knowing in her heart that her love was saying good-bye in the only way he could. She would not cry again…

She could not fight it for long. With a wail, she turned and wept against her past self's shoulder, wishing every moment for the man she loved.

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AN: Poor Usagi. And yes, she and Serenity have been together in so many lives that if they have the Ginzuishou she can take a separate body for a short time. I thought it would be interesting for them to talk together. Till next time!


	5. Oops

AN: I don't really know where this came from, except that it randomly started running through my head today at work. So, I hope you guys enjoy it.

Disclaimer: I work for a school. Do you think I would do that if I owned ANYTHING?

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When she saw him again, she wanted to turn and run. Prince Endymion didn't belong in that quiet garden that was the only place she had been able to talk to Mamoru. She didn't want that evil echo of the man she loved to see her cry. Again, anyway.

Usagi had cried in battle before when he appeared. She couldn't help it. Whatever strength she had once possessed to resist had died over the too-many times it had happened.

She didn't get a chance to leave. He turned to face her before she could. Their eyes locked, and she wondered for a single heart-stopping moment if he was going to realize she was Sailor Moon. When he didn't pull a sword or attack her, she forced herself to relax.

His head cocked to one side slightly, and his expression was at once confused and amused. "Can I help you?"

Usagi shook her head mutely and began to back away. He stepped toward her, following until her back was pressed against the same tree Serenity had been sitting in when they first spoke to him. He leaned toward her, one arm resting on the bark over her head to keep him up.

"Do I know you?" he asked curiously. "You seem very… familiar…"

"We- we met by the lake," she lied. "I thought you were someone else."

Endymion nodded, remembering. "Yes… you had something… it played a melody. A strange and haunting melody…"

The Star Locket, which was safely tucked into Usagi's room. She knew what he meant. "Just a music box. It was a gift."

His eyes narrowed. "From a boy?"

Her gaze dropped to her shoes. "…Yes."

Endymion abruptly stepped away, and she watched him warily. "Who are you?" he demanded. "Why do you seem so familiar to me? It cannot be from one chance meeting."

Usagi shook her head, silent again.

"Why are you afraid of me? Have I done anything to hurt you?" He was gentler now, almost cajoling. "I am sorry if my temper upset you. I did not mean to make you frightened."

She couldn't bring herself to look at him. "I'm not supposed to talk to strange men."

That shadow of a familiar person smiled thinly. In Mamoru, it would have been a warm and welcoming gesture. This mockery only seemed threatening. "Then I should introduce myself. My name is Endymion."

She didn't know if she could respond or not. If she gave her name, she risked a portion of Mamoru's memories breaking through, and it would result in her not being safe even as a civilian. Perhaps to bring him back to himself, the risk might have been worth it, but she had to consider the lives of her Senshi as well.

"Serena," she answered finally. It was a name she had used a few times in past lives, when she had fled Japan for America for however long, just to be away from her past.

Endymion took her hand and kissed the back. It should have been charming. Instead, Usagi felt chilled to the bone. "A pleasure, Serena."

"I should go."

He didn't release her. "Stay. Please."

"I really need to get home. My mother is expecting me." She tried to pull her hand away, but it was pointless- they both knew he was much stronger than her. Maybe as Sailor Moon she might have managed it. As a human there was no way.

"I just want to talk. You feel very nostalgic to me."

Usagi sighed, unable to resist him for long. "Fine," she said after a moment, "but I can't stay long."

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What started as once became many. He would look for her if she wasn't at the park when he wanted her to be, even in the city proper. The Senshi almost saw him once. Usagi had nearly given herself a panic attack as she attempted to remain unseen by him without rousing the suspicions of her friends. Even as her enemy, even knowing all about their past lives, she didn't want him to be hurt.

In the park, the last time he had come to her, he had kissed her. Torn between heart and mind, she didn't resist. Later she decided that it was what sin must taste like- dark and dangerous but so very good.

It couldn't last, though. He was appearing too often, and there was no way she could be sure that he would be gone before she had to henshin. It _just couldn't last._

It was late one night and she had to henshin on the run. Kunzite was stirring up trouble again, and out of the Senshi she was the closest. The instant she began the change, she knew he was looking. She felt the rage in him and had to choke back a sob as she continued toward the battle.

It was fairly straightforward and over quickly, which she considered fortunate. She waved off the others after they de-henshined and began to head home. When Endymion appeared, she wasn't sure if she was surprised or not. Most likely, not.

"You never told me. I trusted you, and you lied. All this time…"

"I- Endymion-"

He grabbed her arm, and next she knew they were in the park again. He shoved her back against the tree. "Why did you lie to me?"

"How could I tell you?" Usagi countered. "Knowing what you were, what else could I have done?"

"I thought you were different from everyone in the Dark Kingdom. I thought you were something rare- a truly honest person. It's clear now how foolish I've been."

His hands were clamped around her arms in a vise-like grip. "I haven't lied!"

"You lied about your name. You let me touch you, even hold you, even _kiss_ you."

"Stop it!" she cried, wrenching away. Moving a few paces back, she tried to ease the ache in her arms. "I was trying to protect us. If I had told you who I was, you would have tried to come after me, and my Senshi would have attacked you. I couldn't bear that! It was one thing, seeing you in battle. Having you attacked for trying to be happy- I couldn't do that!"

He reached for her again, and she was still too upset to run. His fingers twined into her hair. "I don't know if I believe you. I can't trust you anymore."

"Let go of me," she said tiredly.

Endymion shook his head. "Why should I? You lied to me, so don't you owe me now?"

"Let go of me!" Usagi cried, trying to slip out of his grasp. "You're not him, no matter that you wear his face! Just let go!"

"Him?" He considered. "The boy whose name you called when you saw me the first time, no? The one that gave you that locket."

She closed her eyes. "You're not him," she repeated. "Just let me go."

"It doesn't matter to me who you are. I don't care that you're the Moon Princess. I _do_ care that you're mine."

"I'm not."

"You call me 'Endymion-sama'," he whispered in her ear. "You look at me with such adoring eyes." He was holding her against him now, trapped. "I think you might love me, hm?"

"You're wrong," she protested. It was half-hearted at best, knowing what she did. "Let me go home. I won't tell anyone about this."

"I don't believe you."

With one last great effort, Usagi pulled free. "Stay away from me," she whispered. She turned and ran away.

"No, I don't think I will."

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AN: So, yeah… a little weird, huh? I did say from the beginning this was an experimental story. I'll go with it. Please review, and till next time!


	6. Taken

AN: So. This story took an abruptly dark turn and changed purpose of its own accord. This story now has plot! But yeah, a dark one. I'm not really sure where it came from, but things are indeed changing. Hopefully you won't hate it, but as I said before, this is an experiment. I'll let it go where it wants.

Disclaimer: I apparently own the crazy, but nothing else.

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His presence was becoming even more constant, and Usagi was quickly being pushed into a corner. Her Senshi were noticing her strange behavior and Mercury had realized it must be Endymion upsetting her. She tried whatever she could think of to distract them, but it didn't work- they were determined to put an end to the danger he posed.

They didn't expect him to be prepared for it.

A matter of minutes before they were prepared to leave in search of him, he appeared at the shrine, steps behind their beloved princess. And he stole her away just as easily as that.

Mercury traced them to the park and the Senshi raced there.

The first thing they saw was Sailor Moon pressed against Tuxedo Kamen as he kissed her deeply.

"Let go of her!" Mars cried.

He pulled back, dark eyes glinting. Then he plucked her henshin broach from the front of her fuku.

"No!" The blonde reached for it, but it had already vanished. Her transformation shattered, leaving just Usagi there, still in her enemy's clutches.

"Yes," he murmured against her ear. "You are mine now, Princess."

"No- no, Endymion-!"

He kissed her again, and despite her fear she couldn't resist. She melted in his arms.

"You let go of her right now," Jupiter hissed, tone deadly.

He raised one brow. "No, I don't think I shall. She _wants_ to be with me, Jupiter. Surely you can see that."

"You're using her feelings against her," Venus said accusingly.

"Of course I am." Now his voice carried an icy chill. "The reason hardly matters. Did she never tell you she has been seeing me for months? No, I can see in your expressions she has not. Do tell them, _Serena_. After all, you told me once they were your very best friends."

Usagi jolted like she had been hit. "You- how- Mamoru?"

"I never said I did not know who you thought I was," he crooned. "Yes, I remember all those things you told me, fool girl that you are. I have the memories of that person. And I devoured him."

"No. He- he has to be there still. He has to be."

"He is gone," Endymion whispered in her ear, "and only I remain. Would you still leave me, Usagi? When I am all that is left of him?"

Tears lit her eyes. "Why are you doing this?"

"Because you must choose. Your friends are before me, and they are so… fragile. If you make the decision to leave me, I could not guarantee their safety."

"You wouldn't."

"Wouldn't I?"

"You _couldn't_."

"Couldn't I?"

"Don't do this to me," she begged. "Endymion-sama, please. Don't hurt them."

"I have no interest in them. I want you, little princess. They are incidental."

"Beryl- Beryl would just kill me, and I would still be gone."

"Beryl is dead."

Deathly silence fell.

"What have you done?" Venus demanded. "You idiot!"

"She heard of my interest in you and meant to have Kunzite kill you. I could not allow it."

Usagi swallowed hard. "You killed her. Oh God. What did you do?"

"I protected you. It was what you wanted, no? For Beryl to be gone."

"Not like this. Mamoru-"

"I am not Mamoru."

Her eyes closed. "I know. What do I have to do?"

"Just make your choice."

"You can't hurt them. Endymion, please. I can't lose anyone else."

"You will lose them regardless. Will you lose them only by distance, or will they die because of your decision?"

Jupiter advanced on him, lightning crackling around her. "Why don't we see if you're the one she loses."

"Jupiter, no!" Usagi flung herself at the other girl. "Don't. God, don't."

"Usagi-"

"I can't lose him either," she whispered. Finally, she pulled back and faced the dark prince. "You win. I can't fight you."

"Usagi, the Ginzuishou!" Mars cried. "Use the Ginzuishou!"

"And kill him? I _can't_." She didn't fight when he pulled her against him again. "Please forgive me."

And they were gone.

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They appeared in a dark room, and he set her on the bed before lying down next to her.

"What are you going to do with me?" she asked dully.

Endymion stroked her hair. "I intend to keep you."

"I'm not a toy."

"Aren't you?"

She shuddered as he began kissing her throat. "No. Tell me. Please."

He sat up and studied her. "Do you truly wish to know?" She nodded. "I see. Very well… I intend to keep you, as I said. You are mine now, little princess. You will stay here, with me, and only me."

"I can't survive here."

"Can't you?" His attention shifted to her ear. "I am not trying to hurt you."

"Yes, you are."

His chuckle was dark. "Perhaps a little, but I had meant in any physical sense. I would not strike you."

"But I can't… stay here…"

"And why is that?"

"Too dark," she managed on a gasp. "It hurts."

"Then I will find you a place elsewhere. Nonetheless, you will not be leaving me."

"I- Endymion-sama, please, don't do this."

"What?"

"Let go of me."

She was shocked when he complied, though it was clearly reluctant. "If you insist. You are still quite young."

"I-"

"Do not take this to mean we will not be together. I will merely give you time first."

"Then, can I go home?" Usagi asked hopefully.

"No."

"But…"

"No. Were I to release you, your Senshi would take you away at once, and it would be inconvenient to go after them to get you back. You said you did not wish for them to be hurt."

"I don't. I wouldn't go. I promise."

"They would overpower you. You must stay where you are safe."

"They wouldn't hurt me," she argued.

"You are very innocent indeed if you believe they would not go against your decision. They were intended to guard you, little princess. They took that duty quite seriously."

"You were supposed to protect me." Her voice was low and hurt. "What happened to you?"

"There are so many intriguing things in the dark," Endymion murmured before leaning down to kiss her again. Pulling away, he continued. "I will still protect you."

"How can you protect me from yourself?"

He laughed. "You have no protection from me, Usagi. You had best get used to that."

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AN: I'm thinking this needs bumped to an 'M' rating, but I'm not sure. Let me know what you think. Beyond that, I seek my usual dose of comments, because they make me very happy, so please review. Till next time!


	7. Time's Passage

AN: As mentioned before, I'm sorry for how inconsistent I am with this story and for how weird it's gotten recently. It's just doing whatever. I ended up not making it 'M' rated since it didn't get any darker, but at the same time it's not the vague and child friendly stuff it started out as.

Disclaimer: Not mine. Except the insane stuff, which is the product of my wild imagination and not to be taken seriously.

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Usagi had to admit her new prison was at least lovely.

The park had been sealed off, barring anyone entry or exit. She could see through the barrier if she went to it, but it hurt to view a world she couldn't reach. Instead she lingered in its center, enjoying the flowers and the sunlight.

The only exit was a portal to a huge mansion in the mountains. It was removed enough from the rest of the world to please Endymion in addition to not posing any risks to Usagi's health as the Dark Kingdom would have. It was sealed off, but she was allowed television. Still, she had grown tired of it and took to reading in the park. Most nights she would fall asleep on the bench.

On a few _very_ rare occasions, Endymion had been persuaded to release her for a few hours, but each had ended badly- the Senshi were watching and snatched her away. They had only survived because Usagi begged the prince not to hurt them.

And it had been years. Rather than a teenager of only fourteen, Usagi was twenty-one years old. Her last birthday had been four months before.

It hadn't surprised her when other enemies cropped up here and there. A man, apparently from the future, had heard stories of her and came after her, but that had only infuriated the dark prince. He had beaten the young man severely and sent him away with warnings of what awful fate would befall him if he ever dared to return.

Anything else that might have happened was kept from her.

Well… not _everything_.

There had been one terrible day that she had become involved in the Sailor Wars again. The day almost everyone she loved had died.

Trapped as she was, Usagi had no real idea of what was happening in the outside world. It had taken the sky suddenly being washed with black before she realized that something was very wrong. She'd managed to break free of her prison and raced to the scene in time to see a horrifying tableau.

Her four Senshi, her best friends- they were dead on a rooftop. And they dissolved before her eyes. There were several others she didn't know in this life, but they too were coming apart as their lights faded. They were the Sailor Starlights, also companions she had come to love. Her Outer Senshi, gone too. Only Endymion remained, and she suspected it was only because his Star Seed was tainted so much Galaxia didn't know what to make of it.

She had to fight then. She summoned the power of her crystal and battled the dark warrior with all the strength of her thousands of years. Sailor Moon won the day, but the Ginzuishou came treacherously close to taking her life as its price. She doubted she would have survived had Endymion not used some of his remaining Earth power to bring her back from the brink.

It was difficult not knowing what sort of difficulties her loved ones might have been facing without her powers to support them in the other battles she didn't know. Both her Senshi… and Endymion.

She had never been able to honestly deny her feelings for him, and it was something he used against her time and time again. She was under his power and Endymion enjoyed flaunting that. Sometimes he would leave little openings that she could escape through just to enjoy her struggle.

She sighed and leaned back against her favorite tree's trunk, nestled as she was in its upper branches. The park was quiet around her.

Usagi didn't know what to expect from her future now.

In her other lives, awful though they had been, there had been a simple pattern. She knew what was supposed to be happening. There would have been a cataclysm followed by the rise of a paradise-city called Crystal Tokyo. She would have been queen with Mamoru as her king.

It was obvious that wasn't going to happen.

He appeared below and glanced around until he found her. "What are you doing?"

"Thinking."

"About?"

"The future."

Endymion frowned. "What of it?"

"Just wondering what it will be, I guess. Everything's changed. The futures I've seen before aren't happening. Normally things would be different by now."

"You already know what your future will be. You will remain here with me."

"It won't last forever. Nothing does."

"What are you saying?" he asked.

Finally, Usagi smiled and shook her head. "It's nothing; don't worry about it. I'm just rambling, I guess. Can you do me a favor, though?"

"Within reason."

"Could you let me go into the city today? Just for an hour or two. You can even distract the girls if it makes you more comfortable. I just… I'm tired of being alone all the time. I want to see people. I want to be able to _talk_ to people."

"Why now? You have not asked for more than three years."

"Would you have let me? It's been five years since Galaxia, and you haven't let me out the entire time. I gave up. I need to feel normal for a while. Please, Endymion-sama?"

He studied her. "You wish for me to release you. You will allow me to distract your Senshi. What do you gain from this?"

"I told you. I want to feel normal. Is that so terrible?"

"I suppose not. Only for an hour, though. My presence will make the Senshi suspicious enough without drawing it out."

"Okay. When can I leave?"

"I will escort you now, if you'd like."

Usagi hurriedly dropped from her perch. "Please."

They vanished. He didn't realize she wouldn't be coming back.

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AN: It's short, but this is a bridge between the mostly first season stuff from before and post Stars. You should be able to get the general idea- which is all Usagi has- but if you have any questions you can ask. As always, please review. Till next time!


	8. Why She Ran

AN: This isn't what I expected to be posting next, but whatever. A quick note for those that read my other stuff: I promise the sequel to 'Heartbound' is being written, but it's tough. I hate hate HATE the fourth season. If anyone can help, I'd super appreciate it. I'm also editing through most of my older stuff and reposting some. Probably not 'Can't Let Go', but 'Entwined' and 'Heartbound' should be getting redone. And my Phantom of the Opera one, but I don't know if I have any fans from that reading this. As for this story, well, it's almost done. I'm not sure when I'll finish it, but it'll probably be sometime soon.

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon or anything else. Life doesn't like me that much.

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For two years, no one could find her. It was as if she had vanished completely- there were no records under her name or any alias they could guess. The name 'Serena' was all they had to go on, and it was hardly a rare one in the English speaking countries of the world. Endymion put in several appearances to torment them, hoping they would know where she was. It accomplished nothing. Tsukino Usagi had disappeared as though she never existed.

It was Makoto who finally tracked her down.

The Senshi had spent the two years separately, each following every possible lead in hopes of locating their princess before Endymion did. After a few months he had finally realized they didn't know where she was and had started looking himself, but they took hope each time he failed.

The brunette knocked on the door of an apartment in an older but still decent apartment building in one of the big American cities- San Diego, California- and waited for a response.

Seeing her best friend's bright blue eyes peeking up at her was possibly the greatest feeling she'd ever had.

"Mako-chan. I- Come in."

Makoto waited until they were inside to say anything, but speaking wasn't the first thing on her agenda. She pulled Usagi into a tight hug until the blonde was squirming to get away. That done, she took a step back and looked the smaller girl over.

Her hair was the first change she noticed. Instead of the impossibly long pigtails and buns she remembered from the sixteen year old she had seen last, Usagi had cut her hair to shoulder length and had it back in a simple ponytail. Her eyes were the same, but there were faint circles underneath. She was a little pale and a little thin, but healthy and undeniably alive. Makoto would've never admitted it, but she'd began to fear otherwise.

"Where have you been?" she asked finally.

The blonde fidgeted warily. "Mamo- Endymion didn't follow you, did he?"

She shook her head, seeing how anxious her friend was. "I gave him the slip before I left Europe. He probably knows I'm in the States, but not where. Usagi-chan, what happened? Why did you disappear like that?"

"I…"

"Hey. I'm your friend, you know. I'm not going to betray you now."

"No, I know that. I'm just… scared. I've been hiding for so long the thought of telling anyone what's going on is terrifying."

"Did Endymion do something to you? Is that what it is?"

Usagi flinched. "Not like you think, Mako-chan. He wouldn't- I can't say he'd never hurt me, but he'd never hurt me that way. Does that make sense?"

Makoto stared at her for several beats before nodding. "Yeah, I guess so. Then what's wrong? I know you too well to think you just got tired of it one day and left. You would have run a lot sooner if it was that simple. And he would have found you."

"I… I have something to show you."

She led the way further into the apartment, which was much nicer than the building suggested. Coming to a bedroom door, the blonde gestured for quiet. Opening it gave the other girl every answer she'd been looking for.

A crib rested against the far wall, and the rest of the room was littered with baby toys and other paraphernalia. The pink color scheme made it obvious Usagi had given birth to a little girl.

"A baby?" Makoto asked finally. "That's why you left?"

"What else could I have done?"

She sighed. "Nothing. Even for our sakes, you had to consider her first. Why didn't you come to us? We would have helped you."

"I told Endymion to distract you that day so he would know I was alone when I left. I didn't want him to hurt you for what I was doing. I know he must have anyway, but I didn't want it to be serious. Mako-chan, I couldn't give our little girl to the Dark Kingdom. I _couldn't_."

"You don't have to convince me." She wandered closer and gazed down into the crib, taking in the unusual pink hair as though it was nothing. "What's her name?"

"Tsukino Usagi. I call her Chibiusa. I wanted to give her something of mine before… Well. I don't think she'll have a mama much longer."

Makoto spun. "Much longer? You're not sick, are you?"

"That's not it. I… It's time I do what I should have done when this started. I have to stop the Dark Kingdom."

"Usagi, you haven't been Sailor Moon in years. You have a baby, for goodness' sake! Shouldn't you be thinking about her?"

"I am thinking about her. How can I tell her she'll never see her father? How can I look my daughter in the eye and tell her that her father is a horrible person she'll never be able to meet or talk to?" The blonde shook her head. "I haven't got a choice. I was able to put it off this long because I was scared. Then it was because Chibiusa needed me. It can't keep going like this, Mako-chan. The people of Tokyo have been suffering because I didn't protect them. I'm done running away. There's only one thing for me to do before I destroy Metallia for good."

"And what's that?" Makoto asked, not really wanting to know the answer.

"I have to make sure my baby will be okay. I'd leave her with you, but I want my Senshi to stand with me one last time. You'll do that, won't you? I'm too scared to go alone. I don't know how to fight him."

The brunette swallowed hard. "We'll stand with you till the end. What are you going to do about her?"

Her response was simplicity in itself. She transformed into Sailor Moon without a word. Makoto realized with a jolt that she had never changed from her first form as the rest of them had grown. With a twist of her wrist, the Ginzuishou appeared. The Moon Senshi laid one finger against it and uttered a single word.

"Pluto."

The silver blaze was more than her friend would have expected after so many years exposed to darkness. When its light died away, the Guardian of Time stood in the center of the room, the Garnet Rod in hand.

Sailor Pluto knelt in front of her princess, and there were tears in her eyes. "I was beginning to think you were gone."

"I know. I need your help one last time."

Her crimson eyes shot to Sailor Moon's blue. "Anything," she vowed.

"Take Chibiusa and keep her safe." The Moon Senshi lifted her little girl from the crib and ran her fingers through the soft pink strands of her hair. "Bye-bye, Chibiusa. Mama loves you so, so much. My beautiful baby."

Pluto took the baby from her mother's arms. "I will always watch over her."

The blonde managed to nod. "I know you will. Now there's only one thing left. The Senshi and I need to get to the Dark Kingdom."

The Senshi of Time inclined her head. "You are ready for the last confrontation."

"As ready as I'll ever be." She tried to smile but couldn't. "Pluto? Will it really be the last one? Will I… Is this the end?"

"If you can find the key, you will never have to fight again."

"Right. Mako-chan, transform. It's time to fix this"


	9. Fighting You For You

AN: So I still haven't posted more 'Golden Ascension' and I should be working on that, but I decided I wanted to finish this story. Tell me what you think.

Disclaimer: This is dark, and I don't own Sailor Moon. Also, it's dark.

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The Senshi arrived in the Dark Kingdom's base in an explosion of light. A plume of evil energy encircled them. When it cleared Endymion was studying Sailor Moon with narrowed eyes. His hands were almost gently closed around her throat.

"Where have you been?"

She tugged at his arms. "Let go of me."

"You haven't answered my question. Where have you been, and why are you back? Why are you fighting me after so long?"

Jupiter launched her Oak Evolution at him, but it shattered when he glanced at her. "Let go of her, you bastard!"

"Endymion, please," she whispered. "You don't want to hurt me."

"I think I do, actually. You left."

Sailor Moon went up on tiptoes, reaching for him until her fingers were threaded through his black hair. She kissed him gently, shocking the other Senshi. "It's time for you to let me go. No more, Endymion-sama. We have to finish this."

The surprise the other women had felt when the blonde kissed their enemy was tripled when he actually released her and took a step back. "And what do we have to finish?" the dark prince asked coolly. "You swore you'd stay, little princess. I expected you to keep your word."

"I had no choice. It's not just a matter of time now. It _is_ time. This has to end. We can't do this any more."

"Time for what? For you to betray me?"

"I would _never_ hurt you!" she protested. "You know that!"

"Then what? Your Senshi are no match for me. You've been idle for years; what can you hope to accomplish? What do you intend to do, little princess? Submit again?"

"No," Sailor Moon said quietly. "That's over. I'm not going back, Endymion, not even for you. I have to stop the Dark Kingdom before anyone else pays the price for my weakness. If it means fighting you, I'll do it."

"But that would involve you hurting me, and you promised you wouldn't. You love me, Usagi. If you didn't you would have fought me years ago."

"Then I won't fight to hurt you. I'll fight to win." Her face was resolute. "I won't sacrifice you."

The Moon warrior lifted her hand, power swirling around her in a silver vortex. Her hair, magically returned to its original style, blew back. She let her eyes drift shut as she focused. The Ginzuishou appeared in response, floating over her palm as its light blazed. Her features were barely visible through its brilliance.

_I've always fought in hopes of putting an end to the loop I'm caught in. I've thought about how much more I have to do, how much further I have to go. Now there's only one thing I want- for him to be free. I'll accept my fate if that's what it takes to bring back the man I love. Just give him back his life, Ginzuishou. Give my little girl her father._

Without warning, Sailor Moon flickered- to the princess, to Super Sailor Moon, Eternal, the queen she would've been- before coming to rest in a form she'd never before obtained. The Ginzuishou was joined by a second crystal, one substantially larger with a similar light. As they finally dimmed the others could see what she'd become.

Her Senshi uniform had become white with silver and gold accents, long ribbons cascading from her bow. A cloak flowed around her. Her pigtails had become silver as well, and the buns were shaped like hearts. She wore no gloves, and a long white staff appeared as the crystals vanished. Her expression was one of absolute calm.

"I'm sorry, Endymion," Sailor Cosmos said finally. "I should have done this a long time ago. Meeting you in the park that day- it scared me. It wasn't a fate I knew, and I didn't understand how to undo it. I was afraid that if I took you from the Dark Kingdom you'd die, because you always do. You save my life and I lose you. I was scared this time would be forever. Maybe someday you'll forgive me for being such a coward." She brushed a stray lock of hair out of his eyes. "I'll love you forever."

"What are you doing?" he asked. She saw a glimpse of vulnerability before it disappeared. "What are you?"

"This is what I should have been a long time ago. I'm Sailor Cosmos, and I'll use this power to set you free."

Despite how much he cared about her, despite how much he wanted her with him, he was the first one to strike. A blast of dark energy shot from his hands, but she knocked it aside with her staff.

"Usagi, what are you doing?" Mars shouted. "You can't!"

"Can't what?" Venus demanded. "What is she doing?"

"Usagi-chan!" Mercury cried.

"Be strong," Jupiter told her. "This is your fight now."

Cosmos shuddered, but she gave a stiff jerk of the head. "I know. Stay back, everyone. This is between Endymion and I. And just remember… You've always been the best friends a girl could ever want."

"She's saying goodbye," Mercury whispered.

Endymion's jaw tightened. "This is pointless. You'll lose, little princess. Will you run again, or will you accept it and stay where you belong?"

"I know where I belong. It's with you, but it isn't here." She initiated the next attack, firing a beam of power from the head of her staff. Endymion barely dodged after his shield failed to stop it. "Endymion, please, just give up. It'll be easier on both of us. Just let me help you," she begged. "Don't make this any worse than it already is."

He drew his sword. "Brave talk. Are you going to back it up?"

"If I have to."

Their combat became more personal. She threw aside his first slash and arrowed in on his unprotected side, but he swept his blade into her path and made her stumble. She hit the ground hard, but her staff stayed in her hand and she stared up the sword's length at him defiantly. He just shook his head.

"Admit that you've lost," he told her. "You don't have what it takes to beat me."

"I have to," she countered, knocking him away and getting up again. He stepped closer. Her expression changed without warning, becoming soft and sweet. "Endymion-sama. Look at me."

The prince's sword lowered as he met her gaze. "I've always seen you more clearly than anyone. Why do I need to look now?"

Rather than respond, Cosmos pulled him close with her free hand, winding her fingers into his hair as she kissed him. His eyes widened in surprise before drifting shut, the grip on his weapon loosening. The screams from both their throats seconds later were unearthly. The young woman managed to back away a little before collapsing at his feet. Endymion leaned on his sword, relying on it to keep him upright. It was only partially successful; he slipped to his knees as they continued to cry out.

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AN: Haha, cliffhanger. I imagine it would be a more effective one if I didn't plan to probably finish the rest of the story tonight. We'll see, right? Anyway. I actually want you to do me a favor: review. Not much of a favor, I know, but what I'd really like to see is someone reviewing one of my stories to ask me questions. Why did I do this or that, what was behind that plot twist or this character. I want to be able to share all the thought that goes into this so I can feel like even one person really cares about how much I put into a story while I'm writing. So, I hope to see those reviews. Till next time!


	10. Saying Goodbye

AN: Ha, another update in less than 12 hours! Take that! … Ahem. Anyway, thank you to the readers who were kind enough to review so quickly; I really appreciate it. I meant to make this the last chapter, but I ended up deciding there will be an epilogue. I should post it within another day or so.

Disclaimer: It's dark, and I don't own anything Sailor Moon. DAAARK!

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A dazzling flash of light filled the chamber, momentarily blinding the Guardian Senshi. When it cleared, they knew Cosmos had succeeded. It was Mamoru slumped by her side now, not the evil prince who had been both her enemy and lover. He looked pale and a little worse for wear, but they thought he'd be okay. It was Jupiter who realized how bad Cosmos looked and called out for the others.

Her skin was ashen, and color began to leech back into her hair as it returned to its natural gold. Her transformation faded, flickering through the stages until she returned to Sailor Moon. Her shrieks had stopped, but she was barely moving or breathing. Blood-colored tears rolled down her cheeks.

Mamoru was the first one to say anything. "Usa! Sailor Moon, wake up. Look at me. Look at me! I need to know you're all right! Tell me how to help. I can heal you, right? Mercury?" He shifted Sailor Moon into his lap before glancing helplessly at her guardians. "What can I do to make her better? There has to be something!"

"Too late…" the blonde whispered. "No time. Only long enough for one… last… wish…" The second crystal appeared in her hand again, as dull as she was. "Give them their future… Build their eternity…"

_I don't want to die. I've spent all these lives wishing I'd sacrifice myself for a cause and never wake up again. Now that it's happening, I want to stay. I know I can't. It's too late, but I can make everything the way it should be. I've accepted who I am, including the warrior I've always despised. I've accepted my fate. If I come back, so be it._

In that moment, she knew it was the last life she'd ever have. Carefully, she lifted her free hand and caressed Mamoru's cheek. "I love you," she whispered before holding the Cosmos Crystal up. Another burst of its light surrounded them, lifting them out of the Dark Kingdom and setting them in the park where they'd met. "I'm sorry… it took me so long… to save you…"

"What did you do?" he demanded, tears forming in the corners of his eyes.

"Darkness… has to go somewhere… I chose to take it… so you'd be free…"

Mamoru's gaze latched on Mars, who was shaking and pale. "Won't it just turn her to the Dark Kingdom? Can't we save her like she did for me?"

The fiery Senshi shook her head. "It's poisoning her from the inside. Between that and using those crystals- she's dying."

"No. No, she can't die. She'll be okay, right? She's strong enough for that? Can't I heal her? Isn't that what my power is for?"

"She's too far gone," Jupiter said gently. "She knew what would happen."

"Then why do it? She didn't have to come back! She shouldn't have come back!"

"Don't cry…" Sailor Moon told Mamoru gently. "It doesn't hurt much…"

An icy chill ran down his spine. "You're giving up?"

"I made my choice… Jupiter's right… I knew what I was doing…"

"I can't lose you," he said desperately. "Tell me how to fix this. I don't care if I end up your enemy again; just tell me what to do. Don't die, Usa. Please."

"It's too late… I'm sorry…"

"No, there has to be something!"

"Sorry…" Her Ginzuishou fell into her hands before she gave it to him. "You'll know… what it's for… I love you."

With her last breath, she threw the Cosmos Crystal skyward. It shattered as she went limp, filling the air with shards. The fragments began to grow, forming a massive palace of crystal around them. The foreseen future, the paradise of Crystal Tokyo, had been born, but she'd been the tragedy that sparked it.

"No!" Mamoru shouted. "Usagi!"

"It's too late," Mercury said as silent tears rolled down her cheeks. "She's gone, Mamoru-san. She's gone…"

"She can't be gone," he snapped. "She'll come back. She always comes back; she told me so herself! There has to be a way!"

"She made her choice," Jupiter told him. "You know that."

"It doesn't matter! She promised she'd love me forever!"

"But you did this to her!" Mars screamed. "You're the one who pushed her into this! How dare you act like you're the only one hurting!"

"Mars, stop," Venus ordered, rubbing her eyes as if she were forcing herself not to cry. "We all knew it would end this way."

Sailor Pluto stepped out of a gate set in the room they were in. "This is not the end. Your duty is not yet complete, Sailor Senshi. There is still a task at hand."

Mamoru ignored her, only holding Sailor Moon more tightly. It was Mercury who finally responded after several long, tense seconds. "And what would that be?"

"You have to build your future and guard her child as you would have her."

"Child?" Mamoru repeated. "She never had a child. I would've known."

"The princess kept her secret well, Endymion. She left to protect your daughter. She came back to save you."

"I'll follow you," he whispered as he caressed her hair, not even hearing what the Time Guardian had said. "I deserve to die anyway. You should have let me die so you would've survived."

"Enough," Pluto said sternly, drawing his attention back to her. "You cannot abandon life so easily, Endymion. You have a task to complete as well. If you wish to rejoin her in the paradise she has earned, you must live long enough to make amends for what you have done."

The distraught hero finally looked at her. "If I do whatever it is, I'll be with her again? What is it?"

"You have to live."

"That's it? Just live. YOU EXPECT ME TO LIVE AFTER THIS?"

"No. You have to live to do the things she would have done had she survived. You have to raise your daughter and rule your kingdom. This is your planet, Endymion, and a responsibility you have failed to uphold for too long. She gave you a second chance. If you can prove you deserved it, if you can do what has to be done, you will go to her when you die."

"Do you think I deserve to be a king after what I've done? Do you THINK I can do this without her? I can't deal with any of this! A child you claim I have, one I've never seen- you think I can be a parent?"

A bundle of blankets appeared in her arms, and she extended them toward the grief-stricken man. "She is named for her mother. The Ginzuishou Sailor Moon gave you is for her. When she is old enough to take it up and rule as the Moon Queen Sailor Moon would have been, your task will be done. Can you accept that, Endymion? Or will you resign yourself to an eternity without the one you love most?"

Mamoru accepted the baby in shock, looking down at a face he somehow knew would be a perfect replica of her mother's some day. "I- I can't call her Usagi. I can barely say the name as it is."

"Before she died," Jupiter said, voice cracking, "Usagi-chan called her Chibiusa."

"Chibiusa," he repeated hoarsely. "Gods, she looks just like her." He shot a horrified look at Pluto. "I don't know how to raise a child. I don't know how to be king. How can I succeed with all this when I can barely remember how to be human?"

"It is up to you to find the answer, Endymion, because you are a king and a father now. This palace was built with Sailor Moon's last breath, but you must guard the kingdom she has given you."

She vanished, leaving them to their grief and their tasks.

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AN: Yes, I realize this is very sad and probably not what anyone expected, but as I said when I started this story, it's an experiment. I'm just writing it as it comes to mind, and this is what came to mind. If you don't like it, I'm sorry, but I felt like it worked with the premise I've been developing since the first chapter. Please review, and I'll see you in the epilogue.


	11. Letting You Go

AN: Guys, I'm going to say this again. THIS IS DARK. Usagi is dead, and Endymion has spent years trying to live his life despite that. It's sad and painful and all that sort of thing, and honestly not at all where I expected this story to end up. However, like I said when I started this, I was just letting it go where it chose and this is what it became. Hate it or love it, it's your call.

Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon or any of the related material, but I do have a deep emotional investment in this particular version of their fates. I don't think it's the same.

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King Endymion traced his hand over the crystal facets covering the one person he'd ever loved. Seeing her unchanged even through the ruin and rebuilding of the world was the only comfort he had as he struggled through life.

That and their daughter.

Even 'Chibiusa' was too close to _her_ name for him to tolerate, so he raised the tiny princess as Small Lady instead. All he could give her of her mother was stories of the Sailor Moon he'd known before everything had gone wrong, the beautiful heroine who had fought so hard despite the odds.

The Ginzuishou he placed under lock and key, unwilling to let it be used. Though he had been told Chibiusa would someday inherit its power and that when she did he'd be free, he'd grown to love his daughter too much to want to see her carrying such a burden.

He'd hoped for a long time she would reincarnate like she'd told him she always had, but the years had cut down that wish until there was nothing left. Endymion had been forced to give up.

"Endymion, it's time," Jadeite said behind him.

The Shitennou had been revived to help him and atone for their own wrongdoings so they too would be free. The Senshi, the king thought, had never really forgiven them, but they had accepted them. Of course, he wasn't sure if they'd ever forgiven him either.

"Endymion?"

"I'm coming. Just give me a moment, Jadeite."

The blond general nodded and left, understanding that his king preferred to be alone. He'd emerge when he was ready; it wasn't as if anything could happen without him there.

"She's taking the Ginzuishou today," he whispered. "Our Small Lady is all grown up, and after this I won't even be able to call her that. She'll be Princess Lady Serenity, and once she gets married she'll be queen. She's so much like you. Please tell me she doesn't need her old father any more. Tell me I'm done. I don't know how much longer I can deal with all of this."

"Endymion-sama, the princess is looking for you." Kunzite said as he appeared, setting a hand on his master's shoulder. "She is ill at ease."

Taking a deep breath, he nodded. "Okay." The king managed a tight smile. "Is she in her rooms?"

"I'm right here, actually."

He turned and met his daughter's oddly ruby-colored eyes. He'd never understood how she'd ended up with pink hair and red eyes when he and her mother had much more mundane colors. He wondered if it was the result of her mixed heritage and the darkness that had been in him when she was conceived.

"Are you all right?"

"Just nervous, Daddy. It's a lot of responsibility. I know you want me to be ready, but I don't know if I am."

Endymion swallowed. "I've told you a lot about your mother, right?" When she nodded, he continued. "She wasn't either. That's the part I never told you. She didn't want to be a hero. She didn't want the crystal and its powers. She just wanted to be a normal girl, but she knew people would be hurt if she didn't fight. That's how I know you're really ready, Small Lady- because you think you're not."

"Mama was scared too?"

His heart seized a little when she called Usagi that, but he nodded. "Very much so."

Chibiusa glided forward and looked at her mother's face through the crystal. "I wish I'd known her." She bit her lip. "I'm sorry. I know you don't like discussing it."

The king shook his head slowly. "I think today of all days you have the right. I'll just try to deal with it."

"What happened to her?" the princess asked in a rush. "Why did she die? Why did she leave us? The Senshi won't tell me, no matter how many times I try talking to them about it. What happened that Sailor Moon lost?"

"She didn't lose. Gods, I wish she had."

"Then what? Jupiter said she wanted to protect me, but was something after me? What did I need to be protected from?"

Endymion swallowed. "From- from me."

With that, he told her everything. How he'd been taken by the Dark Kingdom, what he'd put her mother through. He covered the years he'd spent searching for her and with tears in his eyes, he relived her last fight.

"She died so I'd survive and you'd have a father. She sacrificed herself to save me."

Chibiusa looked horrified. "You did all that?"

"Yes. And believe me, I regret every bit of it more than you can imagine. Why do you think I'm so slow to exercise my authority? I know I can't be trusted with power. I'm only king because that's what I was told I had to do if I ever wanted to be able to reunite with your mother in whatever afterlife there is for people like us."

"But why? Even if you were being controlled by the Dark Kingdom, why would you go so far?"

"I know you won't believe me, but it was honestly because despite everything the Endymion I was still cared about her, and she loved me. He didn't love her, but she was the only person in the world he would even think about as more than a pawn. I know what I did was inexcusable, but if she hadn't loved me she never would've let it go as far as it did."

The princess nodded. "Can I have a minute to think about this? With Mama?"

Endymion left without another word, managing a greeting when a young man passed by. Helios joined her by her mother's coffin, wrapping his arms around her shoulder. She leaned back into him, tears in her expressive red eyes.

"Did you know all that?" she asked.

"About your mother and father? Yes. Master told me not long after her death."

"You never said a word."

"Had I ruined your image of him, you would have been devastated. It was not my place to tell you, Usa."

Chibiusa flinched. "He used to call her that, you know. Before he stopped saying her name. What do I do, Helios? Knowing he'll probably kill himself when I get married, how can I tell him you asked me?"

"I requested his permission first. He already knows."

"He's my father! Even after finding out about all this, he's still the man who raised me and has always been there for as long as I can remember. The person he used to be, my mother, I don't know them. I know him, and I can't bear the thought of losing him like that!"

"Even if you delayed telling him, he knows you are ready to stand for yourself. He would not allow you to inherit your mother's crystal if you were not."

"But choosing to die is too much! Can't he wait until he dies of old age? At least then it would be natural and he wouldn't be choosing a dead woman over his daughter!"

Helios sighed. "I do not think that is what he is doing. He simply realizes that his task in this life is complete and that you do not need him now. He is tied to your mother on the most fundamental of levels. She was his reason for existing."

"What about me? Even if I don't need him to take care of me any more, I still need him! He's my father, Helios! I'll always need him!"

"And he needs your mother. Do you want him to stay knowing he is completely miserable without her?"

She scrunched her shoulders, looking very small and hurt. "Can't I be enough?"

"It isn't that you're not enough," Endymion said hoarsely, standing in the doorway. "I'm sorry; I had to hear what you were thinking. Small Lady, you're all that's kept me alive since she died. Not because I had to, not because of your mother. When I looked at you, I could remember what it was to have hope. You're not lacking in any way."

"Then why?" she demanded.

"Because I can't live without her forever."

She hated that she was crying. It made her feel weak, like she was never going to live up to her heroic mother. "Is it because I'm not enough like her? I can try to be brave and strong like she was, I promise, just don't leave me!"

His face fell. "Oh, sweetheart, that's not it at all. You're so much like her; every day I see something you do that makes me think of how proud she would be." Endymion swallowed hard before continuing. "Small Lady- no, Chibiusa, please. I can't go until you make peace with this."

"Then I won't! I don't want you to die, Daddy. I want you to stay! I want to be enough for you want to live!"

"I don't have that much time left. I've accepted that. Now it only comes down to whether or not I can reunite with your mother. If you can't let me go, I'll never see her again. Please don't put me through that. Chibiusa, I'm asking you to say goodbye."

Helios slipped out, giving them privacy. Chibiusa sank to her knees, hands over her face as her father hesitantly came closer and put his hand on her shoulder. When she only cried harder, he knelt and gave her a hug.

"I don't want you to go… I don't know how to say goodbye!"

Endymion's grip tightened. "You don't have to say the words. If you can stay with me till the end and say you love me before I go, that'll be enough. I'm not dying today; it's not even going to be this week or this month. I'll be here until you're married, baby. I want to give you away so when I see your mother I can tell her about our little girl's wedding. She never had a chance to have one. But when the time comes, sit with me and tell me you love me. I'll know you've accepted it and I'll be free to rejoin your mother. When it's your time to die, you'll see me again. It's not like you're saying goodbye forever. You'll join us someday."

"Did Pluto say you had to wait for that too? Is it just another task for you to complete so you can go back to Mama?"

"No. Chibiusa, I'm staying that long because of you. If I can't be there for your wedding, if you can't accept my death, I won't be able to go to your mother because _I_ won't be able to accept it. _I_ need these things."

"But why so soon?"

"I've held on as long as I can, baby, I swear. I just…" He sighed. "I've been sick for a few years. I asked Zoisite to keep it quiet so you wouldn't worry, but the clock's running out. I only have three more months at best. I was so happy when Helios asked my permission to marry you. I finally thought I'd be able to see you get married. I'd been so afraid that I'd die first and you'd be alone."

"What's wrong with you?" When he hesitated, Chibiusa pressed. "Daddy? Please, you have to tell me if you want me to accept this."

"I have a cardiac angiosarcoma," the king finally responded.

"A what?"

"It's a very rare type of tumor in my heart. It should have killed me a while ago, but my healing powers and Zoisite's have been buying me time. We can't keep it up much longer; it's spreading too quickly."

"So you're dying of a broken heart," she said with a humorless laugh.

"That's one way to look at it, I guess."

Chibiusa was shocked and horrified, but she was finally able to tell her father she would be able to do what he needed before he died.

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"It will not be much longer," Zoisite said as he stepped out of the king's chamber. "I do not think he can even hear us now."

"It was only a matter of time, but he'll hear me," the young queen said before brushing by and entering her father's room for the last time.

Seeing King Endymion a thin, wasted wreck of a man was hard, but she'd spent their remaining time together preparing for it. He'd given her away at her wedding a month after he finally told her the truth, and she and Helios had learned everything he could teach them about how to run a kingdom on their own. She had ascended the throne three weeks after her marriage, taking the title of Queen Lady Serenity in deference to her grandmother. And to her mother, who would have been Neo Queen Serenity had she lived.

In the last week, his condition had deteriorated rapidly. He had several minor heart attacks in a two day span. Healing spells were no longer effective, even when he, Zoisite and Sailor Mercury combined their powers. She knew part of it was because he was ready to move on. He'd only tried to put it off for her sake, but finally she'd said to stop. She wasn't going to make him linger when he was in so much pain.

His eyes flickered open as she sat next to him. "Chibi…usa…"

"I'm here, Daddy."

Endymion managed a weak smile. "Not so little… now… You're all grown up…"

"I guess I am. Does that mean I'm Usagi now instead of Chibiusa?"

He flinched, and she immediately felt bad. Still, he nodded. "Yeah, I think… you are. I love you… baby…"

"Daddy, please. You have to say my name, my _real_ name, at least once first." She was an inch away from crying, but she'd sworn not to until he was gone. "Please."

"My beautiful daughter…" The king swallowed. "Usagi…"

Chibiusa bit her lip. "Thank you. I guess it's time to say goodbye."

"You don't… have to…"

"Yes, I do." She took a deep breath. "Good-bye, Daddy. I love you."

"Love you… too…"

He was gone as soon as the words left his lips, and she burst into tears. Helios came in and held her as her father's generals pulled a sheet over the body, preparing to bury him. He and her mother were to be placed in a tomb she had ordered built overlooking the ocean. She wanted that sort of beauty for them.

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Usagi was the first thing he saw after he died, gowned in white and reaching for him as they stood in the center of a place he could only describe as heaven. They really wouldn't be reborn again. He took her hand, realizing his own was suddenly as firm and strong as they'd been before their lives were irrevocably ruined by the Dark Kingdom.

"Welcome home, Mamo-chan. I love you."

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AN: I thought about all sorts of possible things for her to say, for him to respond, but ultimately this is what felt right. Home for them is each other, and after everything there wasn't much to say except how much they loved each other. As for the stuff with Helios and Chibiusa, I thought it was fitting. The new couple, the next generation of the Lunar royalty, had an important discussion in the place that had meant so much to the previous one. Chibiusa learned the truth about her father and mother and came to terms with her father's impending death. I realize this ending was horribly sad, and I apologize, but this is where the Muses decided to go. It's been a long time coming, and I hope you appreciate how it turned out. I almost cried writing this. I hope you'll let me know what you think. This is officially the end of 'Matter of Time'. Maybe I'll see you again in some other tale. If so, till next time.


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